More Treats Than Tricks

It was just one of those weeks in college football... must have been the haints and boogers out in full force, because some interesting doings were afoot.

For instance, our favorite Halloween colored team won it's first game, as the Anderson Ravens said "Nevermore" to Bluffton's Beavers. The Cougars of Azusa Pacific also added one to the "W" column, handily defeating Trinity Texas. Trinity's Tigers could not manage a miraculous comeback this time, not that there's any chance to get 28 points on one play. Tusculum defeated Mars Hill, while Southern Nazarene dropped another heartbreaker.

In the land of the Big Boys, the three "marquee games" didn't live up to the hype; resulting in three blowouts. T. Boone Pickens University couldn't channel the Black and Orange holiday mojo to overcome Texas, even at home. Looks like Texas will be headed back to Pasadena in January (more on that later). Florida obliterated Georgia in the "Beverage Redacted" bowl; St. Tebow again did the impossible by breaking Herschel Walker's SEC Touchdown record. Georgia was lucky to be on the field with Tebow, since he was able (as far as we know) to use his super powers to heal Washaun Ealey's eyes:

I'm certain that the SEC will be looking into Mr. Spike's actions, although with the level of respectability that their conference's officiating program has developed, you can't be too certain. To be honest, if Urban Meyer is the coach that they say he is, he shouldn't wait for the conference to make a decision.

In the other "big game of the week", we sent a correspondant to Autzen for the sole purpose of seeing which of the stupid uniform combinations the Ducks would come up with. Little did we know that he'd get to watch a dismantling of U$C, who gave up the most offense in the Pete Carroll era.

Ducks fans celebrate a likely Rose Bowl berth

There will be tons of debate about the Oregon/Boise State rankings- should the Ducks, who undefeated against better competition, jump the Broncos team that beat them in week one. I would vote "yes", but we'll get into that a bit more in a minute.

Our "This week in Schaudenfreude" moment comes from Champaign, where the Fumbling Zooks got their first victory against a Division 1 opponent. That team? Mich1gAAn. Ah, the sweetness. But, Wolverine fans, it could be worse- Your punt return unit could look like this:

Come to think of it, there are blue/yellow winged helmets involved...

The whole weekend started off strangely, with another ACC BCS team dropping a game to an unranked foe as North Carolina defeated Virginia Tech. Iowa continued whatever "black magic" they've got going, coming back from a 21-7 halftime deficit to manhandle Indiana at home. Hoosier fans- Basketball season is coming... oh, wait. Ohio State handled their warmup game, and covered a 44.5 point spread. This season, Ohio State has three games with over 500 yards of offense... but what's next is more important. You really can't blame the Aggies of NMSU for scheduling this game- given the economy and the fact that only 25 NCAA programs were in the black last year, a man's got to do what he's got to do.


Notre Ame had a similar scrimmage/game, paying out the Wazoo to have the Cougs play a game in Texas. Yawn... I'm still pulling for them to be BCS elligible and return to the greatness of losing bowl games against teams not named "Hawaii". Auburn gave Emily a great present (more later), upsetting #25 Old Miss. Miami squeaked by Wake Forrest, and aTm won their second straight game. Mike Leach's guys were able to look past their fat little girlfriends and beat a team coached by a... uh... well... "fluffy" gentleman. State Penn handled Northwestern, TCU continued to cruise, and Kentucky faithful are also ready for some roundball. Georgia Tech optioned all over Vanderbilt while LSU won the battle of New Orleans (oooh! All the etouffee you can eat!).

The biggest congratulations of all, though, goes to the four (!) perfect scores this week!

While I usually try to be arbitrary in deciding who is listed first in the case of ties, Emily is the big winner this week as she, Jake, and Abby Jane welcome two new wonderful War Tiger fans: Blythe and Joy.

Please also notice that Matt has resumed being a realist about his favorite squadron, and Jeff finally comes through with a week befitting his status. Steve's lower than usual ranking can obviously be attributed to his spending time in preparation for the Oregon game... Can't say that I blame him. Although, he still did better than other folks that we won't name *cough Michael cough*.

Dan remains in first place, but has several people nipping at his heels. Janie seems to be running away with the Salem Shike's bracket.

At the end of the year, I'll also do a "conference challenge" and see how the picks percentages work out for our particular allegiances. I'll have to get some clarification from some of you, though- I'm guessing Ms. Terp is a Husker, and Cat wants to be a Gator. Joe, where do you stand- Big T1e1n? Michelle- SEC (Vandy), Big 12 (Nebraska) or Pac 10 (Oregon)? Doug, you've already won the Mountain West- congrats.

Speaking of the end of the year, the Trojan's loss still doesn't change much in terms of what I'd like to see during BC$ week; if it were up to me Texas and Florida would still play for the shiny ball, Oregon and Iowa would be a good Rose Bowl match up (although I know Iowa's losing in two weeks and think that the Ducks would smoke them), Let Cincinnati and whoever comes out of the clowncar that is the ACC play in the Orange Bowl (thems some guaranteed great ratings!), have Alabama embarrass Notre Ame in the Sugar Bowl, and showcase TCU and Boise State in the Fiesta (no conference affiliations required). Did I leave anyone out?

Big games coming up this week: Ohio State begins the "murders row" of it's schedule as it travels to "Happy? Valley" for a huge game against the Lions. Mich1gAAn plays Purdue and looks to get off the schnide. LSU goes to Alabama in a big SEC West conference matchup. Oklahoma returns to Lincoln for another historic matchup of two Big Eight powers. Florida hosts Vandy, U$C travels to Sun Devil Stadium, while Auburn writes a big check to Furman. UK has a bye against Eastern Kentucky, and Illinois hopes to continue it's winning ways as it meets up with a resurgent Minnesota.

Small schools: APU ends it's season with Sooner Conference power Langston University. Anderson squares off against the engineers of Rose Hulman, and SNU's Crimson Storm host Oklahoma Panhandle State. Gosh, I hope their mascot is the Skillets.

Speaking of unusual mascots, our obscure game of the week has the Builders hosting the Bobcats. Yup, the Bobs and the Builders.

First the visitors, from Frostburg State University in western Maryland. Initially known as "Normal School #2", Frostburg has gone from a teacher's college to a school that prepares students in 45 degree programs. The institution is nationally recognized for their "Bottom Line" student newsletter, which has both hard hitting articles about student debt and advertisements for credit cards. Famous alumni include actress Debra Monk and model Jennifer Hurt (no, I'm not linking to photos), Frostburg's other claim to fame is the Appalachian Festival, which featured Highland Grass at this year's events (Googling their band name was an adventure, as you can imagine). The football Bobcats are winless on the season.

Perhaps that will change when they play this year's "longest named school champion", Northrop Grumman Shipbuilding- Newport News Apprentice School of Shipbuilding. As far as I know, this is the only institution that has direct sponsorship from a corporation or entity, other than Oregon and Oklahoma State, of course. The school is unusual in that it's degree are actually awarded from nearby Thomas Nelson Community College, but it competes at the Division Three level in six sports (although not under NCAA jurisdiction- kind of like U$C, I guess). Famous alumni include the USS Enterprise (not that one), the USS Yorktown, the USS Ronald Reagan, and the USS Dallas submarine. The Builders football team has only one win in 2009, but I'm not going to make any snide comments because a) their opponent hasn't beaten anyone and b) they have access to nuclear weaponry.

8 is more than enough

In what appeared to be another week of potential upsets, only two top teams went down while the rest coasted through the middle point of their season.

We started off by watching UTEP squeak by the same Tulsa team that scared Boise State the week before. Free Shoes continued their Jekyll and Hyde persona by bouncing a UNC team that seemed to be looking forward to basketball season. For the FSU fans out there; if it weren't bad enough that their team seems to resemble a plane crash into a clown college, they've got to be hating the fact that they've stooped to playing on Friday nights to gain viewers. Next stop: The Ocho.

Saturday's Big T1e1n matchups included State Penn exorcising their "Big House with small seats" demons, beating Mach1gAAn at home for the first time in thirteen years. We'd dispatched a correspondent to cover the game, but so far I haven't gotten photos yet. If I do, we'll post them.

While I'm not surprised that Joe Pa's team won, I am shocked that 4CA!! was still standing at the end of the game. UM fans, here's your "legend's" numbers from Saturday: 13/ 30 for 0 TD and 1 INT, 13 rushes for 20 yards. Not that I don't think he's a great fit for your program, just giving a bit of perspective.

Iowa needed a late slant against the Spartans to continue their undefeated season. I think I heard it best this weekend: The Hawkeyes are Ohio State circa 2002- few mistakes, solid defense, doing what it takes to win. It will certainly be interesting to see how this one plays out.

Elsewhere in the midwest: Northwestern and Indiana played a tight ball game, Ohio State thumped Minnesota (well, in the second half), Purdue made the Illini AD speak up, while a proud Boiler alum alienated an entire portion of the Western Hemisphere.

Over in the SEC, Alabama staved off a scare from the sherbet Volunteers, blocking a field goal with time running out. Another point of discussion from yesterday- Why not fake it? Your kicker has already missed one, had the last one blocked, and you know the Tide is selling out. Plus, you're on the road as a huge underdog- Tell me a TE release wouldn't have been wide freaking open:

Florida held on to beat Mississippi State, in spite of Lord Tebow's two "pick six" throws. Again, having ranked teams in nail-biter games against unranked teams means that your conference is awesome (note: does not apply to the Big T1e1n). Mississippi beat Arkansas- maybe Corso was right. Kentucky beat no one, Auburn fell to LSU, and Vandy is still Vandy.

Over in the Big 12, more upsets abounded as Texas A&M discovered that you can also play offense and pounded Cap'n Leach's piratey crew. TBPU rolled Baylor (minus their QB), Nebraska fell to unranked Iowa State and Oklahoma defeated #25 Kansas. Remember, having ranked teams beaten by unranked teams proves your conference's awesomeness (note: does not apply to the Big T1e1n).

The ACC's poster program du jour took a hit as #10 Miami lost to Clemson at home. The ACC = Awesome, given what we've already discussed (not so fast, Big T1e1n fans). Georgia Tech also continues to ramble, and Boston College lost this year's "Catholic Clash" with Notre Ame. It must be nice to have opposing QBs constantly throw interceptions to wide open defenders in the waning minutes of close games. This means, as we learned on ESPN 360's halftime show, that Notre Ame continues to be the top independent program in the country; analogous to being a homeschool valedictorian.

Out west, TCU throttled BYU (see what happens when you can't put the QB out of the game?), Boise State remains undefeated, Washington Ducked, U$C managed to beat Oregon State- bringing them to .500 against them for the last four years.

Small schools update: SNU dropped to Langston, Western Oregon spoiled APU's homecoming, and no amount of defiance will change the fact that Anderson lost at home to the Yellow Jackets. Juanita managed to slip by the Moravian Greyhounds, 10-3; not a good day to for homecoming at smaller programs.

Over in the Picks League, Jake's "War Tiger" loyalty is the only thing that kept him away from a perfect week of choices:
Nice work by Jake and Aaron, being the only ones to see through the "Miami's BACK!"facade. For the folks who picked Michigan over Penn State- Awwww... that's cute.

Look! Dan's got a friend at the bottom of the list this week! And, it was not a good week for Joe at all...

Dan still holds onto the top spot, but Jake's strong week bumps him up the the top echelon. This has been your weekly use of the word "echelon".

Much tighter race in the pick department- at this juncture it could really be almost anyone's to win. (note: does not apply to people who have missed weeks. Or the Big T1e1n).

Last week, we talked about what I'd like to see for a "final four" package if, you know, college football had a playoff. This week, let's look at the "Hope for Destruction"- this one not involving a Mayan Calendar. We could, realistically, end up with six undefeated teams: Boise State, Cincinnati, Florida/Alabama, Iowa, TCU, and Texas. Given that only two of these good squadrons could end up in Pasadena at the end of the season (well, technically, four- but only two for the huge corporate sponsership fiasco with the sparkly football), there will be some sad pandas. Given the wonderment of logic that is the BCS, the remaining four undefeated teams will more than likely not be matched up against each other (if they even get to the BCS- realistically, both TCU and Boise State won't make it). So, we could end the season with five undefeated teams. This wonderfulness brought to you by the BC$... it's Fan-Tastic!

This week, there are some great games on slate- U$C squares off against Oregon, and Texas and Oklahoma State play for the Big 12 South Championship. Florida and Georgia meet in the "World's Largest Outdoor Renamed Event", while Baylor hosts Nebraska. Mich1gAAn travels to Champaign, while Notre Ame meets WSU! In primetime! Get excited!!

The APU Cougars travel to Trinity Texas (Maybe they'll bring back Barbecue), Anderson faces off against the mighty Beavers of Bluffton, and Southern Nazarene plays Northwestern Oklahoma in Sooner Athletic Conference action.

This weeks game from obscurity sees Mars Hill headed to Greenville to meet Tusculum College. No, it's not the controversial Mars Hill, or even the Mars Hill graduate school. The Lions of Mars Hill hail from Western North Carolina, and are inspired by the panoramic views of the Craggies, Clingman's Peak, and Mount Pisgah. Named after the famous site of St. Paul's discourse and located on it's original site, MHC's Baptist roots have led the nation in liberal arts education and clog dancing.

As Tennessee's oldest college, Tusculum is listed in the National Registrar of Historic Places on nine different occasions. Unique in higher education TC is one of only three colleges to use the "block" or "focused" academic calendar, allowing students to take one course at a time. The Football Pioneers are currently 2-6, but hope to break their spell of bad luck at Halloween's homecoming festivities. Of course, if there are any boogers or haints that get in the way, all bets are off.

In case you were interested

You can play "dress up" with the Oregon Ducks here:

Dress the Ducks

Here's my best shot:
Maybe looking like the Steelers will help them stay conservative with their uniforms?

Pro'ly not.

Paging Thomas Paine

It was one of those weeks in college football- the "times that try men's souls", as it were.

More than a few top squads found themselves in dogfights with opponents that, on paper, they should have dominated. But, because we know that games aren't played on paper but by tiny men in our television sets, this week's slate of competition ended up being quite memorable.

First, let's visit the Notre Ame Broadcasting Company, where the coverage of what would turn out to be a surprisingly good NA/U$C Game was worse than anything the Big Ten Network ever created. Not since the days of Jefferson Pilot Sports have people been subjected to such rampant homerism in the coverage. It's almost as if either they weren't watching the game or as if they'd gotten a high school budding sportscaster to cover it.

At any rate, my hat is off to Charlie Weis for his brilliant usage of my favorite trick play- the "missing man" formation; although Pete seems to be questioning the Irish's attempts to seek a competitive edge. What Carrol's Trojans aren't talking about, though, is the way they allowed a team to come back from a 20 point deficit to almost tie at the buzzer. And yet, even with some creative clock work by the Notre Dame officials, the Irish did not prevail. Interesting fact: The three signature wins of the Charlie Weis era are last year's victory over Hawaii in their bowl game, Almost beating U$C in 2005, and Almost beating U$C last night. Yup, two of the three are only moral victories.

The Red-River shootout turned out to be just that, with Texas holding on to win even after Oklahoma's Heisman Trophy QB was again sent to the sidelines. I'm very interested in seeing what the Big 12 South looks like this year- Texas has some development yet to do, in my opinion.

Over in the SEC, both Florida and Alabama were pushed to the brink. The Gators needed to have Tim Tebow's prayers answered on a last second field goal in order to beat Arkansas. I wonder how this guy feels about Tebow's faith now? The Great Saban and company were in a bit of a close game against the "Formerly Good Ballcoach", but managed to pull away in the second half.

Every one's favorite (well, not everyone, right Coach Stoops?) "little school that could" found themselves up to their necks against Tulsa, but the Boise State Broncos managed to hold on to their undefeated season with a seven point win. Cincinnati also looked to be in trouble, until USF self destructed in the second half.

Not all ranked teams fared well this weekend, though: In the ACC, Virginia Tech met the buzzsaw that is the triple option attack and lost their number four ranking to the Ramblin' Wreck. The Fighting Mangino's managed to let Coach Hawkins keep his job (after benching his son), Nebraska fell to unranked Texas Tech, and (yes, I'm getting to it) Ohio State choked against 1-5 Purdue. Having watched most of the game, "choked" isn't exactly the word for it... but this is a family blog, so I'll refrain.

It could be worse... Delaware State lost twice on Saturday. Once in an embarrassment to Mich1gAAn, and once by forfeiting the game that they originally scheduled for Saturday that they forgot to re-schedule so they could accept the $500,000 "pity date" payment TTUN gave them. To make matters worse, when the game was over they had to travel back to Delaware. *shudder*

Across the nation- Kentucky beat Auburn (honestly, I'm as surprised as you are), TCU continues to roll, Cal reminded Slick Rick who the "real" University is in this budget-forsaken state, and TBPU played solidly against a really overrated Mizzou team. UW again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, State Penn and Iowa played solidly against good opposition, Kansas State embarrassed aTm, and Vandy is Vandy, as my daughter would say. This week's "Big T1e1n Cripple Fight" goes to Indiana, who managed to beat Illinois in Champaign. Hope the resume's ready, coach Zook.

Small schools- Anderson's march towards a winless season continues, as they fell to Franklin. APU also dropped a match to Dixie State (which, I've just learned, is not in the South). SNU's Crimson Storm defeated Southern Assemblies to move to 4-3, and Gallaudet lost to Catholic (or so I heard).

For the second straight week, we've had a perfect score! Great job, Brian- must be the Florida QB name, right?

Michael went against his usual "Big 12 South" pattern and it cost him a tie for first for this week.

I'm not sure what happened to Jordy, but I did receive an "Oh, crap" email from Dan at about 9:35. Live and learn, hoss.

Matt? Not beating Michael in any/either category. Time to pick it up, bro.

Dan moves back into the lead, as Steve's poor showing this week drops him in the points race.

Now that the BC$ is out (interesting how ESPN has stopped calling for a playoff now that they have exclusive BCS rights?) it's time for my weekly "who I'd like to see play in a national championship game" update. With a lot of football still to be played, I think there are four teams I'd love to see in a playoff... you know, if the No Clue At All had such a thing. Semi-final games of U$C and Alabama with the winner playing either Texas or Florida would be a great thing for the fans, right? Ah, but it's not about the fans- it's about the tax-free money for these "educational endeavors". Silly me.

This week- It's Homecoming at APU, and Michael gets to be front and center for the game against Western Oregon. Joe's Ravens welcome Defiance (No! They do NOT!), while SNU meets Langston (APU's final opponent of the season).

Bigger schools- Ohio State looks to rebound against the Gophers, and Nebraska does the same against Iowa State. Illinois and Purdue square off, while Vanderbilt travels to South Carolina. Alabama and Tennessee play, as do State Penn and Mich1gAAn. UW begins it's quest to win the Northwet by meeting Oregon, and the marquee matchup is undefeated TCU against 16th ranked BYU.

Obscure game of the week: Juniata College and Moravian, in another Division Three clash between Pennsylvania schools. The Eagles of Juniata are winless on the year, unless you count the awesomeness that is "mattress dominoes". Founded in 1876, it's mission challenges students to be prepared "for the useful occupations of life". You know, like mattress dominoes- if I had a dollar for every time that was part of a job interview... Ironically, even though it is of Brethren heritage the first class had a 2-1 ratio in favor of the sistren. Some things never change, it seems. Although, if I was a male student at JC, I know what a great date would be- Lobsterfest. Who says tuition goes to waste?

Moravian college is American's sixth oldest (with a bullet!!), founded in 1742 as a seminary for women (again!) in Bethlehem PA. Their matchup with JC's Eagles will be a part of Homecoming festivities- perhaps alumni John Andretti will make a fast stop by campus? With only one win under their belt, the Greyhounds will hope to emerge victorious at Rocco Calvo Field. Little to no comment from the good people of Moravia regarding the team's successes this season... perhaps they're just a bit too captivated by 77 other things.

In case you were wondering...

Yup, we made it to the top of Half Dome and back:

Oh, and we had our first perfect week in the picks league!! Great job, Steve-O!
Uhh... Dan? You may want to think about taking "UW" and "Huskies" out of your name for a while, champ. You just aren't going to get these types of breaks in our league:

With his great week, we now have a new name atop the leader board:
While it's good to see Matt come back to reality with his team name.

Hey! Jeff hit double digits! And... Ben and Paula have quit on us. Paula, the Hawgs did so well on Saturday- what happened to you?

This week: Red River shootout (or, as it's known around here "Big Game Bob Gets Another Pass"), and Notre Ame gets the privilege of actually playing someone- whoops, it's U$C. Get the resume ready, Chuck.

Return to Normalcy

If your definition of "normal" was a week where six road teams won, and there was only one "sure thing" on the picks board, then this week is for you.

We start our review with the end of an era. Yup, it happened- Mich1gAAn played a team with a defensive pulse and lost. Although, the MAChigan State Spartans did their best to "Sparty" it (Midwestern version of "Couging" it for our Pac 10 readers), giving away a 14 point lead in the final quarter. MSU's second consecutive victory over "The Victors" came due to outgaining their "big brothers" 417 to 251 yards, including 197 to 28 on the ground. Here's a video of the winning score in overtime, in case you're teaching a clinic in tackling sometime soon:

Yeah, just do the opposite of that and your team will be fine. At least the Spartans get to go home with an ugly trophy.

Elsewheres in "teams I wish would disappear", the "It's Ty Willingham's Fault" bowl also went to overtime, as Notre Ame beat Washington. A couple of weeks ago, Charlie Weis complained about the officials in their loss to TTUN. Four years ago, Domers complained about U$C's illegal play when someone paid Reggie Bush to push Matt Leinart into the end zone. Well, it looks like the complaints ... uh... prayers have been answered:

Yes, the Irish won, but there were other shenanigans as well. Several receptions were borderline traps, and the last play of the game should have been a double personal foul for leading with the helmet:

The kid was unconscious before he hit the turf... watch his arms. If this type of thing warrants league suspension (and I think it should), then certain "independent" teams should be held accountable by the NCAA. But, we all know that's not going to happen, and now Lou Holtz gets to talk about Clausen as a Heisman candidate. Call me when they beat a team with a winning record and play someone with a defensive pulse (see 4CA, Tate).

For the record, MAChigan State, Mich1gAAn, and Notre Ame have split the series against each other. That's a little like this, only you'd need to replace the steak with a sweaty sock that no one cares about.

Finally, in my "axe to grind" department we head to the balmy climes of South Florida for the Choklahoma match up with the Hurricanes. Granted, the Sooners didn't have their QB (get well soon, Bradford), but that doesn't explain managing to only go into the half up by three when the first two series Miami runs ended in interceptions. As expected, Miami won 21-20, and the uproar that "Miami's Back!" was heard throughout Army Surplus stores across the country.

Mark May continues to call Stoops "Big Game Bob", but I can't for the life of me figure out the last big game he won (and no, I don't consider trouncing an overrated Texas Tech team last year to be in this category).

Elsewhere in college football:

• Nebraska continued to cruise, crushing BYE.
• BYU moved one step closer to being "Champions of Utah", which comes with a $.25 off Wendy's Frosty coupon.
• Wisconsin beat Minnesota for yet another inane Big T1e1n trophy. Make up your mind- Bunyan in Michigan or Wisconsin or Minnesota... Sheesh
  
• Ohio State beat Indiana without any sort of officiating assistance. You know, the one that went for 400+ on Mich1gAAn? Yeah, try 228, even missing our defensive captain and with a lot of young players getting reps. Oh, and there were passes to the tight end and a TD pass to a freshman fullback- the first fullback reception since 2001. Trust me, it's more rare than seeing Coach Mangino say "nope" at the Old Country Buffet.
  
• Virginia woke up to beat North Carolina. Ralph Sampson must have eligibility left.
• Nerd Bowl- Purdues' engineers lost to Northwestern's... uh... nerds.
• Iowa snuck by Arkansas State, and State Penn pounded Illinois (although the Illini scored, so there's that)
• LSU beat Georgia in a game that was only worth watching during the last quarter. Oh, and SEC Speed doesn't preclude officiating shenanigans.
• Alabama and Mississippi State reminded Kentucky and Vanderbilt that it's not basketball season yet.
• Houston's national title hopes went down in flames to UTEP, 58-41. It's called defense, guys... please see my earlier comments on tackling.
• Arkansas whooped (seriously, the only way to describe it) aTm.
  
• U$C helped Cal continue on it's late season slide- why wait 'till November, right?
  
• Stanford (I'm just as surprised as you are) continues to be atop the Pac 10, beating UCLA
• Boise State proved they were worthy of their #5 ranking, beating UC Davis. Please be sure to read the previous with heavy doses of sarcasm.
• Auburn! Wow, that coach has really made a name for himself... War Tigers over the Vols.
  
• Both Oregon schools won, and TCU continues to be undefeated. If it matters.
• Texas, Kansas, Florida were off. Brett Favre is still unretired.
  

Small schools: Anderson dropped a road loss to Hanover, Humbolt handled Azusa, Southern Nazarene defeated tasty, tasty Bacone. Westminster beat HINU 47-14.

In "The League"- Paula returns, Ben flakes, and Dan Williams keeps his name at the top of the scoreboard.

Seriously, I looked at this week's slate of games and basically flipped a coin. Great job by those of you who finished above 500.

Paula, looks like you haven't lost your touch. Doug? You know you can pick well and not jinx TCU, right?

A lot of folks tied up in the middle- Jeff's picks are after two weeks, so he's not there yet.

Nice name change, Matt- now what was that you were saying about beating Michael?

This week, there are a number of great games to watch, starting with Nebraska at Missouri on Thursday night. Saturday's showdowns include a battle of the top teams in the Big T1e1n, as Wisconsin comes to Columbus. Florida and LSU also square off in a "battle for the most mullets" between two top 5 programs. State Penn eats another cupcake, Sparty and the Zooks try to see who can lose first, and Georgia Tech looks for a way to get Bobby Bowden finally fired. Although, you can't fire someone who's undead... explains the Gators' decisions earlier this week.

Small schools- Southern Naz travels to Southwestern Baptist, APU hosts Southern Oregon, and the Fighting Ravens welcome Mt. St. Joseph's for homecoming (or as I call it- "no way am I setting foot on that campus" weekend).

Obscure game of the week: Just a quick "thank you" to our men in uniform, as we highlight the United States Merchant Marine Academy as they travel to play Worcester Tech in a Division Three match up.

Founded in 1947 and located in Kingsport New York, the USMMA strives to train men and women in order to keep our national oceanographic commerce lines running smoothly and safely. Mariner athletes can rest assured that their endeavors will move toward their recognition as a class, as will their ability to create and maintain a well polished binnacle. I have no freaking idea what that means.

One of several colleges in Worcester Massachusetts, Worcester Polytechnic Institute was founded in 1865 with the goal of being a place "where science and technology meet real world problems". That's good, but I'd be interested in seeing if a full beer bottle or empty one would do more damage in a bar fight. That's the type of research I want from a prestigious institution. It doesn't seem like a good place to be a freshman or find a spouse, and I couldn't find anything about students hitting the sauce. The athletic teams are called the "Engineers", although the "Rockets" might also be appropriate.

No update next week- I'll be busy in Yosemite trying not to get killed. See you in two!!

The end of the world is nigh...

Or at least the end of my marriage, if the fans quoted in this article are to be believed:

The game would undoubtedly please Husker fans, and there would be plenty of storylines.

Two of college football’s most prestigious programs squaring off in one of the nation’s most illustrious stadiums before some of the nation’s most devout fans.

Bo Pelini would be facing the tall task of taking on his alma mater.

The game, of course, is Ohio State vs. Nebraska. It’s the game Husker fans want most, according to a recent poll done by the athletic department.

Husker fans... be careful what you wish for. Otherwise, you could end up with two guaranteed losses and me sleeping on your couch for a couple of years.

And honestly, no one wants that.