"Charlie, here comes the deuce..."

"... and when you speak of me, speak well."

Wow. What a week of heartburn across the college football landscape. This week, we saw some scares and some firsts; let's get to it.

• tOSU remains State Champs of Ohio, but just barely. The fighting Soliches put the fear of Woody into the #3 Buckeyes, and started the "The Sky Is Falling" season in Ohio just a bit earlier than usual. At least they weren't the only one, since...
  
• The rest of the Big T1e1n also struggled against the MAC- Wisconsin, Illinois both were trailing to their sub-par competition. On the brighter side, if the NCAA goes ahead with my idea, it should be pretty easy to add a MAC school to some conferences and not lose a beat.
• Mich1gAAn struggled as well, but to Miami. Of Ohio. Yeah, it's going to be that type of year... couldn't happen to a nicer program or coach.
• Speaking of Miami, they also pushed the Gators to a full game. It's nice to see that whatever the Buckeyes were dealing with was contagious. However, Florida's struggles helped them move up in the polls, while tOSU fell two spots. Ah well...
• In happier news- the Blackshirts are back, scoring on an interception return and a kick return.
• Vandy handed the Spurriers a loss for the second straight year. The only thing better would have been if Ntre Ame would have lost.
• They didn't, but struggled against a San Diego State team which lost to 1AA Cal Poly SLO. The only pretty thing about it was a certain double awesome QB's hair, which led to his new nickname: "Pickles"
• TCU beat up on Stephen F. Austin, which sounds like it should be a really bad sitcom writer.
• The HAWGs did what Alabama couldn't, beating Lousiana Monroe.
• toOSU kept it close with Houston for a half, before Caleb went down with a hamstring injury and needed a nap.
• tooOSU didn't even bother to show up against State Penn.
  
• Northwestern won the "Braniac" bowl, beating Duke 24-20. Next up, MIT.
• Speaking of things from the Northwest, this weeks' video is the controversial ending to the bYu/UW game. The call was right, but it's a shame that the Pac-10 officials couldn't look past the emotion of the moment. Especially since this may end up costing Ty his job...
  
• An apology is in order: I jinxed the Ravens, who dropped a close one to the Taylor Trojans. Hopefully this isn't a harbinger of future games where my favorite teams play Trojans.
• Curry needed overtime to outlast Worcester, and APU's efforts ended up as expected.
  

For our group, another introduction is necessary, and we welcome Doug Loeser, our lone Mountain West representative. This season he decided to get his missed week out of the way early, but came back with a vengeance.
Speaking of "forgetful", Dan was so overwhelmed by the Huskies' loss that he didn't get his picks in for the first time in the history of our league. At his defense, there are a lot more important things happening in his life right now.
We ended up with a bigger spread on points than we did on picks. Just shows that it's not just how you bet, but how much you wager. Also shows that Jordy may be making a trip to Vegas as a "fund raising initiative" for the office.

Overall, a familiar face has climbed to the top of our points group.
And another is perched at the pinnacle of the week two picks total.
Dan, you and Doug combined would be 15-5... you two should talk.

There are a couple of big games this week, so correct picks will be a premium. Anderson looks to rebound against De PauW, and APU travels to Texas for another "contest". Nebraska hosts New Mexico State, and we get a top 20 matchup on Friday with Kansas traveling to South Florida for the running of the Bulls. The Hawgs renew their Southwest Conference rivalry against Texas, and Illinois now welcomes hurricane surviors. Auburn's Tigers/War Eagles open SEC play against one of the few African American coaches in the NCAA, while one of the others faces yet another nightmare as Oklahoma travels to Seattle. East Carolina's Pirates travel to Tulane, while TCU hosts the brainiacs of Stanford. Other than that nothing of any significance.

Unless you count the "I hope you both lose" game where Michi1gAAn travels to Ntre Ame. Seriously, can we get a sinkhole or a swarm of locusts or something? Perhaps the LHC can open up a black hole around South Bend when it fires up on the 10th.

Did I forget anything? Right- the small schools game of the week. This week Mars Hill travels to St. Augustine's for the Theological Tilt of the week. No, it's not that Mars Hill. The Lions of Mars Hill hail from Western North Carolina, and are inspired by the panoramic views of the Craggies, Clingman's Peak, and Mount Pisgah. Named after the famous site of St. Paul's discourse and located on it's original site, MHC's Baptist roots have led the nation inliberal arts education and clog dancing. The Falcons of St. Augustine's (the hippos would have been funnier) have only been playing anew since 2002,and represent an Episcopal university formed for the purpose of educating freed slaves. Notable alumni include the Cleveland Brown's Alex Hall (tough week this week) and the famous Delany sisters. The institution is also named for one of the most influential figures in early Christianity and Western thought, whose famous quote ("Love the sinner and hate the sin") still challenges us today.

Anything else I'm missing? Anything important? Probably not.

Take USC and give the points. More on this later.